From the moment you walk into a restaurant, you are on public display.  True, certain vantage points are better than others, but nonetheless, you are subject to perusal by everyone in the room.

What we do and how we do it reflects not only who we are, but also, how we were raised.  The rules haven’t really changed as far as restaurant etiquette goes.  Only the players and their willingness to abide by the rules have changed.

Fifty years ago, the topic of cell phone use wouldn’t even have been brought up. Cell phones, despite their accessibility and popularity, have no place in a restaurant.  Phone calls are meant to be private, especially if personal.  Turn off your cell phone before you enter the restaurant.  At the very least, put the phone on silent mode; and only answer it after leaving the general dining area.

If you make a reservation in advance, be punctual.  Common courtesy dictates that you call ahead if you are running late.  If you need to cancel, do so as early as possible so that some other hungry diners will get your table. 

Dress appropriately.  Conservative dress is best if you are unsure of the dress code.  A phrase such as dress to impress might be handy to consider.  Even if the restaurant does not have a dress code, consider the possibility that a group dressed to the nines is more likely to be seated at a better table than a group dressed in torn jeans and t-shirts.

In the unfortunate event that you arrive at your seat and discover the table setting is less than pristine, it is perfectly appropriate to request new and cleaner items, provided that you do it with the proper decorum.  Not only will you get better service throughout the meal if you ask nicely, but you will avoid annoyed looks from the surrounding guests.

Sending back your meal is permissible, again, if you do it with the proper decorum.  However, you may want to reconsider the urge to send it back, if you have after dinner plans that may be delayed. 

Restaurants generally provide ample food and quite often, despite our best efforts, leftovers remain.  Requesting a doggy bag is acceptable and often, it is even expected.
Remember to thank the wait staff cordially for their assistance with this additional task, especially if they offer the service to you first.

Tips are the means by which we communicate our appreciation of the wait staff’s performance.  Generally, 15% to 20 % gratuity is expected.  The general rule of thumb is to pay the expected rate for good service and to tip slightly over for excellent service.  Remember that quite often the server must split his or her earnings with the bus help.

When taking children to a restaurant, it is always a good idea to remind them about the behavior you expect from them.  Wait staff will be more responsive to your needs if they don’t need to cringe from the decibel level as they approach your table.

Try to remember that although we are all entitled to nourishment, this does not mean that we are entitled to fine dining.  Good behavior will be rewarded with good service.  Bad behavior will be rewarded with stares and glares, not a server who cares.  Simply follow the guidelines above, be pleasant, and enjoy!

Susan M. Keenan©2005

Susan M. Keenan is a Freelance writer for ValleyX c2cnetworksInc.